Try ...... Pink



                                                  Where there is desire
                                                There is gonna be a flame
                                                  Where there is a flame
                                           Someone's bound to get burned
                                                But just because it burns
                                            Doesn't mean you're gonna die
                                          You've gotta get up and try try try
                                               Gotta get up and try try try
                                             You gotta get up and try try try



When I realised that I could have a birthday, a significant wedding anniversary, a holiday and a death of a best friend. I almost ramped it up into automatic mode by the final 2 weeks , I knew what was required.

I just stopped thinking and I just DID, actually that's not correct I was thinking the day before about the next day ......  what I was going to do in terms of 12 WBT and what exercise I was doing. I lived and breathed that incredible rush I had in just feeling so amazing.

I had this pure fire in the belly that FINALLY I was achieving something I could never imagine possible.

This was no longer about Jenny or my sister, or anybody else, it was all about me.

I declared to my facebook world right at the beginning that I did not particularly like the body I was trapped in and every time I went to bed, I went to bed unhappy.   That was enormous to admit, I had well a truly said it loud and clear, this time I HAD HEARD IT TOO !!!!!

At the beginning I just kept dropping those kilos, no one in my facebook world seemed to really take too much notice, sure they could see my check in's at the gym or around the lake, they knew I was doing the work, but to what extent they didn't have a clue, I kept it to myself, I hit 600-800 calories burned almost to the T every day. I was running on that tick list, every hour, everyday, every week, tick, it was done. Had I drunk my water?   Yep. I would fill my keg every morning with a glass beside it, so everytime I walked passed I would drink a glass, there was no excuse it was always there.

I am a visual person too, so if I could see the water level drop, it meant I was taking it all in, measuring and visual, How can I make it stick in my head.

I am terrible in remember details or having memories, but I provide myself with triggers , then I can operate better, that's why everything needs to go back in the same spot. I can't "re-track" my movements because I purely forget.

If I need to remember somebodies name I will remember a song to trigger their name, or like at Little Aths, there's a father who runs a lot of things, his name is Kevin, how do I remember? because Kevin Sheedy was the coach of Essendon, memory by association.

The iphone my greatest friend, I have notes and notes on things, to remind me of this and that.

At least I recognise it and use it to the best of my ability !!!!! I'm all about, How can I make it work for me.

As a little girl, my nan started us a charm bracelet and I adored every year getting something different attached to it, because it had meaning, last year I discovered Thomas Sabo Charms.

It really is one of my treasures because of what it symbolises to me but also because it's my nan too, 39 and my nan is still with me. When I began 12 WBT, the link was very hard to attach, and I was almost considering getting extra links put in, it could sometimes take me 5 minutes to put the damn thing on because it would keep slipping, bloody fat wrists.  This was one of the first things I noticed when I began dropping the weight, not the number on the scales, but how easier things were, I could do my shoe laces up, I could do my charm bracelet up on the first go, small things but HUGE things that told me this is working.

I did not report to my facebook friends every week, how I was going on the scales, I would message 3 friends every Wednesday but on  weights & measurements week, every 4 weeks,  that's when I would give a full update on how I was going because to me I was super keen to see the cm change and the fitness change.

When I very first got my knees looked at the surgeon said, "Yes they are severely damaged, but you need to begin physio first", When I now look at that moment I think, was I always looking for that quick fix option?   In my head I wanted surgery NOW, because if I had the surgery I was going to be "fixed", and then I could loose weight, it was my knee's fault that I could not exercise !!!!!  Again not taking a good hard look at myself.  It was actually the ENORMOUS amount of calories I was consuming and ZERO excercise that was ALWAYS THE PROBLEM !!!!! I was lazy and living in denial !!!!!

So down I track to the physio, such a lovely man, and he asks me to do a squat, I could not even hold a sqwat in 3 seconds. He just looked at me in bewilderment , he shook his head and said," I am so sorry, I in no means do I want to offend you, but you have the worst knees I have ever seen for someone of your age, darling, how are you even functioning? How are you getting out of the car? How are you getting out of seats? How are you even getting off the toilet?" I burst into tears, not because of what he said, but because someone finally understood that in everything I did I was reminded how bloody hard my body was working".

Somebody actually empathised with me, so from that moment I began working on building those knees, and took on water aerobics, without even thinking I was beginning to build a path, it would take me another 3 years to find 12WBT.

I had been doing weight watcher for years, I love the program, but I was stuck. I would hear the leader talking about a girl who had lost 35 kilos, and when asked what her secret was, she said," My marbles".

I thought this girl was a space cadet !!!!!

She had a set up of 2 vases of the same size, she had filled them with marbles, one side (the left side)  was full which represented all the weight she wanted to loose, eg 40 kilos, each marble she saw as 100gms, so if she lost 1 kilo, she would move 10 marbles over to the right side. (funnywhen I lost weight weight, I bought McDonalds)

It became her visual on how far she needed to go , and also how far she had come. There was a positive and a negative side, and it SOOOOOO made sense to me !!!!

Here was that measureable aspect that was in my sight everyday. I have my marbles on a shelf in the kitchen and I look at it all the time, on how far I have come, it has nothing to do with scales and a number, it's just there, and it reminds my that every weigh in is a marble in the right direction.

                                 (While doing the 12WBT first round for me)

      Into my second round and week 2,  I have lost 26 kilos of that 40 kilos
                                                        ( in 2 rounds)

I found the more weight I lost, I would have to keep on top of changing that heart rate monitor every Wednesday, drink that water, eat the right amount of calories. Some weeks I didn't feel like the dessert, and never made those calories up, the weeks I didn't eat all my calories were the weeks that weren't outstanding, So I had to eat, and I had to feed my body.

My aqua classes were always hard work, but I was moving through the water quicker, and my heart rate was decreasing I was exercising at just above 100, and coming out of the water burning 200 calories, I was beginning to feel tense, Why work for an hour for not much burn, I want the exercise over and done with, same with the walks,  I was walking longer until I burnt those calories. So I had to think how can I make this work for me?

So with my aqua , I wear resistant gloves in the water, which makes me work harder, and also wore weights when walking on my arms to weigh me down to get my heart pumping. often you would see me on the local bmx track doing laps, on the inclines, faster heart rate, always thinking how can I make this work for me. Instead of giving up because it wasn't going to work, I always made it work.

I had an anniversary dinner, so I did 3 - 1000 calorie burn days, because I needed it to work !!!!

Sure I thought about it but I just did it. That JFDI is the best thing saying.

I remained focussed , consistent, and I ticked all the boxes and I kept it real.

I sure as hell made the effort to put myself here.

I am giving up time with my family to exercise

I had lost my beautiful Jen.

I was going to bloody reap those rewards, because I am so worth every single blood sweat and tears & effort   !!!!!!

At the end of the day I was creating a brand new life for myself, because the old Anthea who had stepped into that surgeons office, wanted the quick fix. THERE IS NO QUICK FIX !!!!   AND IT"S ONLY UP TO ME TO BELIEVE & JUST DO !!!!!



                               YOU GOT GET UP & TRY & TRY & TRY