Queen. It's a kind of magic

I heard the other day, that it was over 20 years ago, that the world was in complete shock that one of  " The superstars", of the game of basketball, Magic Johnson, had declared his sudden announcement he was retiring because he had contracted, HIV.

Which got me thinking about my next blog, do I ......  don't I ?   I wasn't going to but it does help my thought process and people respond to my blogging ..... and that I love.

So I am thinking about this song choice, for this blog ?  Yes I have to have at least one Freddie. I had such an obsession with the different performers, Elton John, David Bowie, Prince, Freddie Mercury.

 Why?  Because they dared to be different. They didn't care what people thought of them .... perhaps they did, but to the world, they dared to be proud & original. I completely admired their fearlessness, as a young person, discovering the world, I had no idea who I wanted to be, but I knew I liked strong people.

At the time of all the HIV hysteria, I was still very young, all I really knew about HIV, was very little and that scary, scary advertising campaign of the grim reaper, bowling the bowling ball down the alley. 

How much little information we knew, yet it was an awful time. Around about this time I would watch over and over again, my very black, deaf, homosexual uncle who battled to remain sober, be beaten many times because he choose a different lifestyle.

Fighting for his life in hospital. just became the norm. I really couldn't understand any of it. He was my beautiful, beautiful uncle, how could people be so ugly?  So what if he loved another man? I just didn't get it. I guess I feel very fortunate to have actually lived that because it did teach me unconditional love.

He was actually very intelligent but being Aboriginal he never really had much opportunity to excel at anything, he didn't trust his ability.

Does that sound a bit familiar?  He could be the biggest supporter & cheerleader to everybody else, yet never saw his own ability and what could be possible for himself.  Hmmmmm ??????

He was always one of my biggest supporters and really encouraged me to come up to Melbourne to study a Year 12 equivalent at Monash University. During my High school Year 12, my mum decided to go AWOL and is it no wonder I failed miserably.

I would live with him at my grandma's house. every morning we would sit there beaming and discussing our day ahead. He was the student co-ordinator & I was one of his students.  One morning he woke up and he was most odd, I couldn't put my finger on it, I asked but he said, " I want to tell you something, but not yet", "O-kay, when you're ready , I will be here", was my reply . I waited a few more days, that odd hesitant look  ...... but nothing. I waited.......Until it came out, from nowhere.

" Anth, will you still love me if I tell you something?". " Roderick, of course I will, I've loved you all my life."  ........ " I need you to know I have HIV".

I can't remember anything but getting up from my chair and wrapping my arms around him and bursting into tear, my tears were because he trusted me, what a secret, but he trusted me, and I needed him to know, I would still have physical contact with him, the disease he carried but he was not the disease !!!!!

I would carry that around with me, and to tell you the truth, I actually forgot, it wasn't even important to me, he was just my Uncle.

At the beginning of the (Uni) school year. I would tart myself up because the "office boy", was rather delicious. I would put contacts in my eyes, which would always look red raw by the end of the day, I would wear make up which gave me panda eyes  all to impress this boy. The office boy was so shy, that I doubt he ever popped his head up to notice.

Then the office boy had to take us for a tour of the campus. Oh wow, here is my one and only opportunity to get him to notice me, so I thought all morning, make sure you say something that makes you outstanding to him. So I approach him, thinking, intelligent, sophisticated, amazing, that's what you need to be. As I open my mouth to ask him the question, all that came out of my mouth was ........ Can I take an apple with me ???????  Ha, WHAT  ????????  I just turned my back and begged the world to open up swallow me. I had that moment to shine, to weave my own type of magic but epic FAIL !!!!!!

Roderick and I laughed, and laughed all the way home. What a fool I was, meticulous planning and that's what it all amounts to was a question about an apple.

I went through and made great friendships with the staff and when I needed help, I asked for it. I studied, Law, Biology, English, History. To achieve your pass mark you had to pass everything by 75%  to get your Year 12 and acceptance into Uni. I had never applied myself with my education and being so far away from home was perfect, because it was all about me, I was so proud of myself. I managed to still hold my week-end job running the deli department in Ocean Grove and study all at 21.

I received really great marks and was accepted into an Arts degree, I went to a few classes but thought, great topics, history, sociology & anthropology, but what to I do at the end of it? I would then try hospitality as well and pass that, but I eventually become a Deli Manager, something I was always good at, and at the end of the day I LOVED it.

I haven't stopped to count the years that have passed but 20 sounds like a hell of a lot, since that Magic Johnson press conference. I got married, had two beautiful boys and I would watch Roderick overcome his alcohol addiction and become one of the first recipients of a cholera ear implant, which would CHANGE his world FOREVER, and my god, he soared and painted the sky with rainbows with his new found freedom and confidence.

It was a massive shock when Roderick died on December 13th , 4 years ago, it wasn't the HIV, it was a heart attack, he was healthy, he was living and skipping through life. It would be at his funeral that I would address my entire family. I was unhappy that he was not being honoured for his achievements, yes he liked to party and had a drink too many but that's the way they knew him, I KNEW him. He was MORE than that.

As I addressed them, I thanked him for, for believing in me and for teaching me all about unconditional love. He saw the magic in me,  he gave me the opportunity that he never had as a teenager in the form of my education, sure I was given the tools but I did all the hard work.

That's what this 12Wbt is all about. There is no magic pill, no magic wand that you wave around and say, am I there yet?  It's hard work and it's about remaining true to yourself, no matter what life throws your way !!!!!  You may not know your potential ..... yet.

Dare to be different, be your own Freddie, Bowie, Elton John, Prince. EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN KIND OF MAGIC !!!!!  Believe in yourself !!!!!!


The last thing I thanked Roderick for in front of his grave was the chance to take that apple ........... because that apple gave me that "office boy"  ....  Michael ......  & my two beautiful boys ......... who love me unconditionally. 



IT'S A KIND OF MAGIC

It's a kind of magic
It's a kind of magic
A kind of magic - no way

One dream, one soul, one prize
One goal, one golden glance of what should be
It's a kind of magic

One shaft of light that shows the way
No mortal man can win this day
It's a kind of magic
The bell that rings inside your mind
Is challenging the doors of time
It's a kind of magic

The waiting seems eternity
The day will dawn of sanity
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
Is this a kind of magic?
It's a kind of magic
There can be only one
This rage that lasts a thousand years
Will soon be done

This flame that burns inside of me
( From: http://www.elyrics.net )
I'm hearing secret harmonies
It's a kind of magic
The bell that rings inside your mind
Is challenging the doors of time

It's a kind of magic
It's a kind of magic

This rage that lasts a thousand years
Will soon be, will soon be, will soon be done
This is (this is) a kind (a kind) of magic (yeah)
There can be only one one one one
This rage that lasts a thousand years
Will soon be done - done

Magic - it's a kind of magic
It's a kind of magic
Magic magic magic (magic)
Ha ha ha haa - it's magic
Ha haa
Yeah yeah
Wooh
It's a kind of magic