Funnily enough, I love my job, sure I work in a supermarket and I don't get a lot of money, but I love putting on my uniform and turning up for work every shift.
I've been doing it for 15 years. I know who I am when I put my shirt on, and I know my capabilities. I work on the shop floor, and I would be the most happiest if I could just walk around the isle, greeting people, chating with them wearing a gold sash, that reads, " How can I assist you? Please ask, because I would love to show you the way".
Guess that pretty basically sums up my whole life, and probably the way I have always lived, I'm happy if I am making other people happy.
Even from a young age, I had a real sense of a needing to help people to feel accepted. I grew up in a small town, well it was, 30 odd years ago, and we were the only dark skinned family in the town, the children were so cruel to us, I just think it was a different time,( thank god we have progressed !!!!) Therefore whenever somebody new came to the school, I took it upon myself to take care of them, answered any questions, and just took an interest in them. They didn't have to be my "friend" for too long, I just didn't want anybody to feel alone, again that learnt behaviour kicked in very early, treat people the way you want to be treated.
So when Jenny got sick, I just found it impossible, how an earth can I help?
I also really live on no regrets, if it feels right , you won't regret it. So if she needed me, I would drop everything for her, when that phone call came, I was hers, for as long as she wanted me on the line.
People have since noted to me, your commitment to your exercise is so inspiring," I wished I had that motivation". The thing is, when something is that important to you and you have that, need ..... that want ..... that desire, you find away of making that happen, and that in parallel was the way I could focus on Jenny & my weight loss, both were so important to me, and I had to do both.
When someone you love asks you to do something REALLY important for them, especially like Jenny who was dying, you usually don't hesitate to drop everything and be there for them. So why couldn't I put myself as priority number one, and that's what the 12 WBT had become to me, it was my need, my want and my desire to honor myself and LIFE in general.
I love structure and limits, if I need to be at an appointment at 2pm, I''ve done everything to get there at 1.45pm, petrol in the car, time factored in for hiccups, I love my structure. That's why I think this program is working for me because I like the formality of it, I tick boxes and I just get it done but when Michelle asked us to "Red Flag" our months, my whole October was completely highlighted. I thought, OMG no wonder I'm ruined by the time Christmas comes, I have school holidays, my birthday, our anniversary ....... but I had already begun the thought process in August, I was preparing and thinking how can I do this, to my favour?
Before October kicked in I had my day that is bigger than Christmas in my household, we LOVE AFL, so Grand Final has always a day of eating, I mean big breakfast, anti-pasta platters, dips, cheese, bbq, hotdogs, chips, party pies, and we would eat every quarter, and into the evening, I never recognised that it was that bad, until I had began planning to not do it.What made the day easier was the fact that SSS, was a non- negotiable for me.
The first day I did my first ever SSS, I decided I will walk until I hit the 1000 calories burn. I had a good indication how far that was but I never anticipated how hard it was going to be. Being the first week, and detoxing I actually got really ill. I should have hit the anti-biotics earlier than I did, but I "needed" to be a trooper, I had laryngitis, and really heavy lungs, but not doing it was never option, so I set out in the beating sun, it was damn hot !!!! And I walked for 2 hours & 45 minutes, I factored in a really steep hill ,
( My "steep" hill)
walking then a really long hill that is on a steady incline, by the time I had got to the incline hill, I was gasping for breath, I had my ipod and my iphone in my bra. Apparently I had called home ( well my right boob) had called home 3 times, and each time my 8 year old son answered the phone, he just said, it's that donkey calling again, because I eeeehhoaring, all the way up the hill, because I was so sick, and my lungs were limited but I DID IT ......... I JFDI !!!!!!!!
When I got home I really put it all into perspective, it was my very first SSS, I was not quiting in the first week. My god THAT'S 1000 calories? I have to work that hard for 1000 calories ? I had walked 13 kms for 2 hour and 45 minute. I had my knee brace on, heavy lungs but I had a sense of achievement that it could be done, no matter the circumstances, and it had to be done that was SSS.
For some reason, I had never noticed the numbers on the take-away boards at McDonalds, they were completely invisable. I just needed to have it, some days I swapped the large coke, for a frozen coke and you might as well add in the large chocolate sundae because the sun is shining, seemed like a logical choice, why not feel fabulous when the sun's shining?
Break that down
Big Mac - 2060kj - 495 calories
Large Coke- 935kj - 225 calories
Large Fries - 1900kj -455calories
Large Sundae - 1450kj-355calories
Frozen Coke- 950kj - 225-calories
( all breakdowns have been sourced from Allan Borushek's Calorie Fat & Carbohydrate Counter book)
In total for one meal plus dessert I was looking at total calories of 1530.
If I had that meal twice a week, which has known to have happen, I was digging myself an even deeper grave because I wasn't even closely doing that amount of exercise, to burn half of one of those meals. Essentially I have been a lazy person as far as exercising, I am just not prepared to walk night and day to burn that food. It's hard enough to burn the healthy good food I was eating, before tackling the pure crap of McDonald's !!!!!!!
So I then stepped into grand final day, having done the SSS, and without anything beyond what was planned for the day, I had removed the temptation, because I planned it and thought about it before the day had even arrived. My birthday arrives in the October, once again I stick to my normal routine, I figure why ruin all your good work, for one day to celebrate your "birthday" because when you are at goal weight, and feeling healthy , Anth, it's going to be your birthday everyday.
I would then see school holidays with extra planning, where do I take the boys? We walked around the lake with other friends who had children, I took them for a drive down the beach to walk along the sand, and I took them to a very large play area which had hills, I lapped the swing area, the sandpit area, up and down the hills, all with my heart rate monitor on. I know the other mothers were looking at me like I was on drugs, which I kind of was, I was on my own high of feeling fabulous, I actually couldn't careless what they thought of me, I had my headphones in, enjoying the sunshine, my boys were happy and I was still moving, it was a win, win, and guess what THE SUN WAS STILL SHINING & I DIDN"T WANT A FROZEN COKE OR A SUNDAE !!!!!
My biggest redflag came in the form of our 10 year anniversary, something we had been looking forward to. I just couldn't fathom over indulging, so I worked so hard in every class and in the gym, I did 3 - 1000 calorie burn days, before we even had our week-end away. Funny how, I use to do a work out and buy chips and gravy on the way home, because I thought I earned it, thruth be known I probably had only worked for 200 calories. So I knew whatever we did, I had made up the calories. We went to Mammasita's in Melbourne a reall amazing mexican restaurant with small servings, it was perfect, I had a bit of everything but it felt really measured. When we got back to our room, there was a bottle of sparkling wine waiting for us. Didn't faze me as I don't drink, but that got flushed down the sink, my husband couldn't bring himself to drink it because he now realises, that food and drink comes with a price, if you pick the wrong options and breakfast was ordered to our room, so we could avoid
THE BUFFET BREAKFAST.
So I then realised that like in law : I was setting a precedence.
The definition of setting a precedent : to establish a pattern; to set a policy that must be followed in future cases
I figured if I did this once eg not eat all the food I could at a party, say no thank-you to the food that was offered, wake up at 5am and do a gym workout, walk in the wind and the rain in a rain coat, climb those stairs, take that class you never imagined yourself to go, use the cross trainer, have a birthday ( which would only make Christmas even easier) exercise while I was sick, go out for dinner, go on a holiday, have friends over for dinner ...........
DO IT ONCE & KNOW IT CAN BE DONE, AGAIN & AGAIN& AGAIN
I WAS SETTING MY FUTURE PATTERNS TO SUCCEED !!!!!
I was a good friend to Jenny and others around me but I was becoming my own best friend too by backing myself and believing in my own ability.
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